Mmm... pizza

In the spirit of slugs http://www.slugsontherefrigerator.com/home/2009/07/the-page-your-cookbook-falls-open-to.html I give you the unlikeliest pizza recipe ever:

Chicken Pizza Mexicana

First the base:

225g strong white flour, 1sp easy-blend dried yeast, 1tbsp olive oil, 125-150ml tepid water. Sift flour and yeast into bowl, make well in centre, add oil and water and mix, gradually drawing in flour. Place dining chair next to you at worktop, place small child on chair and give her or him a small amount of dough to knead while you do the rest for 10 minutes or so til it feels right. Stick it in an oiled bowl with clingfilm over the top for a couple of hours til doubled in size. Remove bit you gave to small child from the window frame.

Topping:

Rub the zest of two limes and 1tsp of toasted, crushed coriander seeds into some chopped chicken breast - two small or one large. Leave your small child to destroy the trim around your back door while you stir fry the chicken for a few minutes. Roll out the dough to fit a 30cm pizza pan. I always do it quite thinly and end up with leftover dough that you can make into trendy pizza-style garlic bread. Spread on a bit of tom puree, preventing small child from choking on the lid of the tube. Sprinkle over 100g or so of grated mozarella and 100g or so of grated smoked cheese (yes, that stuff that comes in a sausage shape and is plasticky but delicious). Feed some of the cheese to squealing small child. Sprinkle on a handful of tinned kidney beans and a handful of tinned sweetcorn, squeezed as dry as you can manage. Feed some beans and sweetcorn to still-squealing small child. Add a bit of chopped chilli if you fancy it. I will when mine, which I believe is still in my dad's greenhouse, bears fruit. Arrange half a sliced red pepper and half a sliced red onion on top of that, then the chicken bits. Do not feed semi-cooked chicken to small child. Gas 9, 25 minutes. The pizza, not the child. Garnish with coriander if you remember and have any growing in your garden that hasn't run to seed the second it sprouted.

Enjoy. Based extremely loosely on a recipe from Pizza Toppings, 60 easy recipes for making good food fast, Chancellor Press, 1994. I would provide a photo, but it's all gone.