Get me away from it all...

...now!

I've spent a large portion of the afternoon in work browsing, firstly, Scottish holiday cottages, and, secondly, reviews of the campsite next to Culzean Castle in Ayrshire.

I have come up with a daft plan that involves camping for three or four nights in a couple of weeks' time and a week at a cottage at the end of September. Anyone want to join me?

The first bit, the camping, is daft because it's the school holidays and I hate other people's children (people I don't know, obviously). If my child makes a noise, runs into other people's space and steals their footballs it's just his charming way of exploring the world and his abilities within it. If someone else's child does it in my vicinity then they're horrible tearaways who need to learn to think of others. Plus I have no idea if I can rope anyone else into coming with me and I can't put the tent up on my own, due to it being designed by men, or very tall women.

But the reviews of the campsite make it sound lovely. Google it. Sunsets, views, friendly, quiet sandy beaches.... and once you've fallen in love drop me a line and come with me.

Part two is the continuation of a half-baked plan I put to some friends a while back. My plan now is to just book somewhere big enough for two other families at a time and see who wants to come when. Again in south-west Scotland, probably. Alternatively Anglesey. Can you tell I still have my tax rebate and extra tax credits sitting in the bank? Good job my bank (that's smile.co.uk, ethical and everything) stopped those pesky fraudsters before they got to my hard-earned cash.

Can you tell I'm feeling more chipper at the very thought of going away even if it might mean camping alone with a 17-month-old? How do I shower? Cook? Relax? I think slings will come in very handy, but still... There's just something about being Out There. Away. Staring at the sunset.