The tangled web of 21st century dating

Had a snoop on a dating website. Oh dear. I looked on Earth Wise Singles hoping for a bit less of the 'look at me aren't I gorgeous and just the best thing since sliced bread'! And there do seem to be some genuinely nice folks on there. But oh dear. The whole thing, the catalogue of pictures and vital statistics. The pictures range from really terrible washed-out passport photos to really unhelpful 'look at wacky old me doing a handstand halfway up a hill' ones.

Some of them are very obviously 'on their travels' and though I have no problem with travel I do have a problem with people who list countries they've visited as if they have 'done' them: 'Oh yes, I did Thailand in 1998 when I was 16 and got mugged at knifepoint/offered a 13-year-old bride/sold into sweatshop slavery/murdered by pirates' (delete dramatic anecdote as appropriate).

Then there are the profiles. These poor people have to state what their appearance is like, although there seems to be an option that says: You decide. I mean, no-one is going to put weedy, or spotty, or downright ugly. The list of interests is obviously an environmentally-friendly-stroke-outdoor-pursuitsy approved list they can choose from: alternative energy, alternative medicine, art, biking, camping, canoeing/kayaking, crafts, cooking, dancing, environment, gardening, green living, movies, music, organics, outdoor activities, painting, photography, reading, yoga.

There's one whose blurb really seems to make sense to me. But he's from Chiswick. And he looks too ambitious for me: too good looking, too right-on greeny, too vegan. There's one who's a single dad and the things he says sound really nice (committed single parent sensitive to a child's needs...), but he's a bit old and, frankly, not that good looking (IMHO). I skipped over all the ones who live in Devon, but maybe the perfect man for me just happens to live a six-hour drive away. Oh sorry, shouldn't say drive, not very Earth Wise. Bugger. Am I green enough, exciting enough, energetic enough, PC enough?

And when the hell am I supposed to be able to meet any of these people anyway? Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

And do you think my profile picture, above, will attract many contacts?