A glass of wine

When STBE husband left, my alcohol intake went down dramatically. It was usually him who bought it previously. I took up knitting and was therefore too busy to guzzle. I really only drank when with family or friends a couple of times a week.

Now I am feeling quite stressed and very tired, juggling little man, work, everyday stuff, communications with STBE husband and the occasional bit of me time. And I keep having to make emergency trips to the shops for wine on the way home from work.

So here's the conundrum: should I just stock up so it's there whenever I fancy it or should I try to resist? Should I bother putting pressure on myself to not drink at a time like this? Or should I take control and decide to save money and not put my health at risk just because I am going through a difficult time?

Right now I am supping a glass of a half-price Chilean cabernet sauvignon from Tesco Express near work. I got home from work to be told that little man had been left to cry for ten minutes when he was put to bed. He has resisted going to bed a few times in the last week, but it is highly unusual. He is usually zonked out by 7pm. Last night I read him books and cuddled up with him in my bed until he was fast asleep and transferred him to his cot at 8.30pm. I believe that if he is upset he needs security and reassurance. I do not believe that crying himself to sleep is a good association to make: going to bed should be a lovely, cosy thing. And I know from experience that this phase will pass in its own good time.

So I am off to fill my glass while I ponder how I can remain in control of the manner in which my little man is brought up at the same time as earning some money and handing him over to his wider clan members. And after that glass I am definitely having an early night in case whatever is bothering him wakes him up before 6am.