Before and after

Before becoming a mum:

1. All that stuff about lack of sleep is surely an exaggeration. Everyone knows children need lots of sleep.
2. I'm not having a house full of brightly coloured plastic.
3. Children should always sit down to eat.
4. I won't need to babyproof. He will just have to learn what is off limits.
5. I can do some freelance work at home while he naps or plays.
6. I don't want him watching television.
7. The best place for a child to be raised is in a home where there are two parents.

After:

1. Tell him that at 6am. Or at midnight when he's teething. He didn't regularly sleep through (ie past 5am) until he was 10 months old.
2. It's everywhere. And he likes it.
3. Until he gets fed up of sitting still, manages to squirm out of the highchair straps and tries to climb out. Or helps himself from the fridge.
4. He doesn't understand the word no, wanted to spend all day climbing the stairs as soon as he could crawl, likes eating fake coal and is fascinated by plug sockets.
5. Ha ha.
6. I do want 10 minutes to put my feet up every now and again. Like once a week...
7. Just shows how you can make all the plans you like but you can't account for other people.