I will:
- Tell you about my mundane life in minute detail until your eyes roll back in your head and you think to yourself 'why aren't I doing something useful right now?'.
- Palm you off with 'five things' when I don't have enough time to write something properly.
- Leave out the very dullest and most prosaic things to make myself look more interesting.
- Correctly use apostrophes. Even the odd semicolon.
- Use vulgarities and expletives as I would in real life.
- Be completely contradictory within and between posts, as illustrated by the first and third pledges.
I will not:
- Review stuff just because the great big PR/marketing machine in the sky gave it me for free. The best freebie I ever had was a big boat on the River Shannon for a week and it also gave me the most terrifying, fear-of-drowning-in-my-bed night of my life. As well as my first taste of vinegar disguised as wine. I feel a reminiscence post coming on.
- Ever preach the virtues of doing something to your child that feels wrong just because a book/self-appointed expert says you should.
- Spare you the unsavoury details out of politeness. We are talking baby poo, the odd puke, menstruation, birth, more baby poo. Like the one that rolled out of the nappy and on to the living room floor today... I thought to myself, that would be really funny if I didn't have to clear it up.
- Leave you for more than three days without a post unless I am moving house or have found a hunky new fella who looks like Han Solo, Edward Cullen, Aragorn, Robin Hood Jonas Armstrong style, Maximus Decimus Fartypantius and that bloke who works in Bargain Booze all rolled into one.
- Lie, make stuff up or in any other way directly deceive.
- Stay up after 10pm in order to post.
Love it!!! I agree 100% with all of the above!
ReplyDeleteOK, deal. Just one thing - don't stress if you don't post for three days. Therein lies the path to blogging becoming a bind.
ReplyDeleteYou make me smile JK :o)
ReplyDeleteWell said my dear x
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blog, your pledge is clearly right for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm not that precious about my writing that I won't do the odd review, but only if I get useful free stuff for my family. Every little helps.
Regarding your second 'I will not', I can't help feeling this was directed at me. If it wasn't, well, I'm going to make a fool of myself now.
I wrote on my blog about a conversation I had with a sleep professor. He wasn't a self-appointed expert (like for example Gina Ford), he is actually a professor at Oxford University who specialises in sleep.
If you read my post again I hope you will see that I wasn't preaching the virtues of controlled crying because he said it was the right thing to do. I actually said it went against every maternal bone in my body. I was reporting what the Prof said because I thought it would be of interest to my readers, so we can all make up our own minds.
Okay, I'll shut up now.