Some facts... according to a two-year-old

Thomas the Tank Engine is a god.
Window ledges are railways, runways or racetracks.
Boxes are to be emptied and climbed in.
Shells are for scooping sand.
Water is to be splashed in, spare clothes or no spare clothes and no matter how many times mummy tries to redirect me.
Milk is for small people to drink, not for putting in mummy's tea.
Lemon slices are there to be consumed in their entirety, not just to look pretty in the jug.
Artistically placed old tractors are to be climbed on.
Paper is boring to draw on; hands, clothes and furniture are better.
Ice cream is the perfect foodstuff.
Mummies spend too much time in cafes.
I am allowed to cause chaos because people still love me when I smile and wave bye-bye in a cute manner.
My toys are my toys and not for sharing.
Noodles are snakes, or worms.
Dancing along with Upsy Daisy is a compulsory activity for everyone present.
I know what I mean, so everyone else should too.