In an ideal world...

• Babies would come complete with teeth.
• The arrival of little man's final two molars would not have coincided with mummy having PMT.
• Mummy would have had her Mooncup boiled and ready before her period started.
• Little boys would instinctively know how to use a hankie.
• Rain would come at regular intervals rather than vast quantities in a short period of time after weeks of drought.
• Mummies would not be distracted by their children in the back of the car whilst passing a mobile speed camera positioned about a hundred yards before the change from a 40 to 60mph zone.
• The tastiest food would also be the healthiest.
• Therefore, cakes would be calorie-free.
• Clothes would make it into drawers and wardrobes between being washed and being worn again.
• Internet connections would not inexplicably stop working.
• Children would not be automatically drawn to the one thing they shouldn't mess around with.
• Everything would be where it belongs, including, for example, the tin of pins being actually in the sewing box and the kitchen scissors being in the kitchen utensils pot.
• Toddlers would be compatible with mummy's desire to do crafty things.
• I would have remembered I need to put the washing out on the line instead of writing this before it's time for little man's bath.
• Life would be dull and predictable.