Climb every mountain...

Imagine the conversation between me and someone who's part of a group I'm climbing Snowdon with; most of this group have never climbed a mountain.

Her: 'So have you done this before?'
Me: 'Yeah, quite a few times... but not for years.' ('Quite a few times' is a big understatement.)

Then there are the general conversations about walking where I can talk knowledgeably about most of the hills in Snowdonia and a fair few elsewhere but always include the line: 'I used to do a lot of walking/scrambling.'

Well, I've got fed up of the 'used to' and realised how important walking up hills is to me. Don't ask me to explain why; I find there's no need for a reason. Ironically, the ex and I first got to know each other by going out in the hills together. I remember him holding my hand because I was slipping in the snow coming down between Carnedd Llewelyn and Daffyd.

But as you get caught up in, first, the nine to five of sitting in an office and commuting and being knackered by the weekend, then, secondly, the demands of being a parent, it's easy to let things that are important to you slip away. Well, I think there's a compromise in there somewhere. I think that parents, and probably mothers most of all, need to have some time to do things that are important to them as individuals and not just as parents. Things that are fundamentally part of their identity.

Of course, I wish I could have had nice family weekends where little man gets to do fun things with mummy and daddy - at the same time. But I'm also glad I have the opportunity to do 'me' things. And being a single mum when there's a dad around who's still very much committed to his son actually makes this potentially easier than it is for happily marrieds.

Yesterday, I had asked daddy to pick little man up at half eight so I could go and climb a lovely little hill called Cnicht, pictured above. It was a bit humid but still a fine day out.

Another 'used to' I'm working on is playing the guitar. I restrung my acoustic last week. All by myself. Now I just need to keep strumming those chords until the fingertips of my left hand stop going numb.

Mooching

It's quite like pottering but more weekend-like. Going for a stroll and watching the tide start to come in. Listening to skylarks. Finally starting to sew some curtains. Dining with family. Enjoying a glass of wine or two. Chasing squirrels. Kicking leaves. Drinking imaginary tea. And real tea. Chatting to pygmy goats and Bobo the donkey. Just a random selection from the past two days. I'm counting Friday as the weekend as I work on Sundays.

We heard the skylarks while we were walking along Hale shore. Something about their song always makes me feel sleepy in a warm, summery kind of way. Today wasn't warm and summery, but it wasn't cold either. The walk was somewhat gritty. The views were of chemical works and oil refineries. We got to see lots of flotsam and jetsam washed up by recent high tides: wheel hubs, tyres, rusty old fridges, thousands of plastic bottles, gas canisters, plastic crates. And (yuck factor alert) tampon applicators. Another reason to use the wonderful Mooncup.

Little man enjoyed watching all the aeroplanes taking off from Liverpool Airport. And he enjoyed poking about in the stones and sand with a stick. I built a tower of stones, a la Makka Pakka, which little man happily kicked over. I sat on a rusty wheel hub while he scrabbled about, but I had to keep an eye out for him going near any broken glass or rusty nails. Like I said, it was gritty.

Just me... and a big blue sky

I took the opportunity, while little man is having a weekend with daddy and the weather forecast was good, to get out for a walk. I went to Moel Famau, a hill in the Clwydian range in north-east Wales. And wow, the weather was good. A beautiful warm, sunny day. Warm when you're walking uphill, anyway! It was good to get out in the fresh air, good to be on my own for a while and good to have a pint in the pub afterwards.

Slings and roundabouts

Walked to the grandparents with little man in the buggy this afternoon. I didn't want to use a sling in case I slipped on ice. That turned out to be the wrong decision. Pushing a buggy through slush the consistency of lemon sorbet is hard work, and in some places virtually impossible. Good for the thigh muscles though.

In some places I was dragging the buggy backwards on two wheels. I may have uttered a few expletives. I ended up walking in the road whenever I could. So the sling would have been more sensible. At least when you've only your own two feet to worry about you can quickly leap out of the way of oncoming traffic. Should have listened to Cave Mother asking What Would An Inuit Mother Do?

I think I need to strengthen my babywearing muscles anyway. The boy is getting heavy but I refuse to be stuck in a situation where I can only go for a walk where are there no stiles, no narrow gates, no rough paths, fields, undergrowth etc and no fun whatsoever.

Sorry I misled you about the roundabouts. There are only figurative ones featured here. I wasn't going to walk the long way round just to justify the title of a post!

Windy day at the seaside

New Brighton. Wirral. Not to be confused with Brighton, Sussex. Windy day. Turbines turning. Waves splashing over the prom wall. Interesting view of Liverpool's scrapyards. Container ships being guided into dock by tugs. Pigeons to be chased. Stones to be examined. New knitted mittens to be waved. All polished off with a fish and chip lunch, at which little man suddenly found his appetite, which meant we were all waiting for him to finish for a change.

Waiting...

... until it's a reasonable time to go and pick up my boy. I think 7am is a bit early, although he's probably up. Then again, his daddy claims he has slept through and had lies-in (lie-ins?) while he has been there. I'm going to assume that means he wakes up with me because I'm so special he can't pass up the opportunity for extra cuddles. Maybe. Anyway, I'm missing him from his crazy curls to his ticklish toes.

While I have been child-free I have collected him some new shells: pink stripy snail shells from the Great Orme in Llandudno. It was a particularly, shall we say, exhilarating day with gale-force winds blowing the unmistakeable scent of goat across the hillside. And I have attempted to start knitting him another hat but I keep gaining or dropping stitches on the cabling and am now about to start my sixth attempt.

Today's discoveries

• that the path past the dilapidated cottage and smashed-up car at the edge of Yarrow Valley Country Park actually follows the river for another couple of miles and is lovely.


• that my new walking shoes are very comfy.


• that I am still not built for running however exuberant I feel about skipping along a riverbank without a twenty-something pound toddler on my back.


• that Cono Sur Pinot Noir is currently half-price in Somerfield.


• that it is impossible to drive slowly whilst listening to Hungarian Gypsy music.


• that knitted mushroom stems look quite rude.


• that someone has made a sculpture of Angelina Jolie breastfeeding her twins. No idea if she actually does.


• that sometimes I am quite lucky, like when I leave my camera on the garden bench all afternoon while I am in work and the weather stays dry, which also means that my sheets on the line are nice and dry.


• that Sunday night can be pasta night as well as pizza night.


• that scruffy-looking nerf herder is probably the best insult ever invented.
• that although I am perfectly capable of changing a lightbulb it is very tiresome having to do everything myself.
• that the layout of these blog thingies can be very frustrating at times. Give me Quark XPress any time.

Sleeeeeep

Little man didn't want to go to bed last night. Or rather, he didn't want to go to sleep alone in his cot. So we lay down on mummy's big bed together. He seemed to be lying there very quietly and still but with his eyes open for ages but eventually dropped off. As did I. I woke up with cramp in one arm and feeling very cold about half an hour later. So I decided to grab a cup of herbal tea, get into my pyjamas and go back to bed, this time under the duvet. It was 9.30. Glad to say I slept through til 7. Which means little man did too.

I've been finding it hard to go to bed early enough. I think it's because looking after little man is so intense and he is pretty demanding when it's just me and him. So after I've put him to bed I want to have time to relax, to think, to sit quietly, to watch a DVD, to read a book. But I do feel better for just one good night's sleep. It's now nearly 9.30 again and I think I'll be off to bed when I'm finished up here.

I took little man up Rivington Pike this morning, before I went to work. We managed to not get rained on. Which means I won the bet I had with him. When I asked him if he thought it would rain he grunted in a positive kind of way. So I bet him a tummy tickle it wouldn't.

I found going uphill with him in the Yamo not as bad as expected. Once I got into a steady trudge it was fine. It helped that it wasn't too hot. Little man was very excited once we started to get an extensive view and kept saying his favourite line, which sounds like 'what is it?' Yes, my boy hardly has any words at all but he can string a sentence together that is guaranteed to drive mummy mad after the fiftieth repetition in one day. He was even more excited when we got to the top and I took him down to stretch his legs. He was scampering around like crazy and squealing. And falling over. He's not used to uneven, rocky ground.

My latest plan of action is to get out walking with him more, regardless of the weather. He's always happy to be in the sling while I'm on the move and I need the exercise because I've decided I need to get fit enough to go and climb a proper mountain again soon.

Dappled shade: Part II

This time it was Yarrow Valley Country Park. Strolling along the river - which is where I saw my one and only kingfisher a couple of years ago - then up the rough tracks through fields and woods. It was early enough to still be quite cool. At first it was peaceful, just the babbling water, birds singing, the odd sheep baaing, leaves fluttering. Little man sang his sleepy song, which is a sort of hum in time with mummy's footsteps, then dozed off.

I followed a new path for a while but eventually turned back because I don't think I could do a circuit back into the park. I am that sort of person who always wants to know where a new footpath goes. It bothers me that I haven't actually explored around home that much despite living here for more than six years. I think the trouble is you never know when you're going to meet a vicious dog.

It was a dog barking that woke little man up after only ten minutes snoozing. My biggest dog gripe, though, is the amount of crap on the paths. I really don't understand how someone could let their dog do this in a place where lots of children come to play.

Little man has now gone with daddy and I have to go to work. Which is a bit of a bummer on such a lovely sunny day. But I suppose it has to be done occasionally. I have a sudden need for salad so am taking a stilton and toasted walnut concoction with me.

Sea air

I'm hoping a dose of it might help little fella sleep longer. This morning he woke at 5.45am sounding immediately upset. Not the sort of sniffing and fidgeting that means you can ignore him for a few minutes. It was instant howling. So we had a snuggle in my bed and he went back to sleep. At 7am.

So that made us late, but we eventually went to Crosby for some breeze and drizzle. And beachcombing for holey bricks. And a walk that justified the cake (coffee and walnut, cafe in Little Crosby not very friendly to two mums and two tots but old tractor on lawn very exciting).

When I was a kid we would often go and stay at my grandmother's near Llandudno. The sea air there used to make me really tired. I remember fighting to stay awake on summer evenings but having to give in and go to bed far earlier than normal. So I'm hoping it might help little man make it past 6.30am. As for me, I don't need sea air to feel knackered these days.

New leaves

Yes, there are lots of them about on the trees now that it is May. And how fresh and green they look too. Even my little bit of beech hedge is finally shrugging off last year's coppery, papery foliage and bursting forth. (Someone slap me before I get any more poetic.)

Little man has gone with daddy for the weekend and I am going to meet a friend for a 'proper' walk tomorrow. So after they left this afternoon I promptly climbed into bed and dozed off for two hours. And now that I have had a rest and am no longer on lone 24-hour duty I am thinking about turning over a new leaf. I need to lose a bit of weight, tiresome though the whole concept of dieting is. It's mostly because I saw the flabby bits behind me in the mirrors at M&S when stocking up on some much-needed new t-shirts. And I am going to go to bed early. Every night. Why is it so hard to do?

And on that note, I am off out for a yummy dinner with friends at a really nice pub. Table booked for 8pm.

Baby nomad

Here are The Trousers. Now moving on....







Little man likes to be on the move. Especially when it is time for a daytime nap. Which means mummy has to be on the move. Not having a nap beside him. This afternoon I spent half an hour sitting quiety reading books with him hoping he might start to doze off. Then I put him in the ring sling and pottered about the house for half an hour, hoping he might start to doze off. All he did was stop me drinking my cup of tea because he wanted to stick his fist in it. I had things to do, things I could do much more easily if he was peacefully asleep. But no, he wasn't having any of it.

I put him in the Yamo, a soft-structured carrier borrowed from Preston sling group. http://www.slingmeet.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=3276 I grabbed my keys and left the house. Walking up the road at school run time was not so pleasant so I turned down a track that cuts through fields/wasteground behind my house. Ben dozed off on my back. I looked at the hawthorn blossom in the overgrown hedges and the petals sprinkled over the path. And I thought, hmm, this is nice. And those things I had to do will get done. Eventually.