Right now...

• I am getting used to the keyboard on my new laptop. I am mightily pleased with the machine itself, purely because it is a beautiful shade of cherry red and the casing has an industrial tread-effect texture.
• Little man is munching multigrain hoops and drinking warm milk whilst watching some telly, only this time it is bedtime and not breakfast time. I have steered him towards watching Deadly 60 so I can admire Steve Backshall.
• I am slurping a glass of pinot grigio and looking forward to a takeaway when a friend comes round later.
• I am trying to get used to the extra light flooding into the back of my house but am, on balance, not that happy with the loss of the mature silver birch tree in my neighbours' garden and the way they have hacked the leylandii hedge so that my view will now always be of dead brown bits. 
• I am, somewhere at the back of my mind, trying to decide whether I really want a man cluttering up my life. 
• I am looking forward to getting on with my subversive cross-stitch design and have decided the world is probably divided into those of us who giggle childlishly at seeing the word 'fuck' in embroidery and those who would sneer at such puerile nonsense.

Cosy

I love the utter pointlessness of these. Egg cosies. The only real use I can think of is if you live in a very large mansion where there's a long trek from kitchen to breakfast room and your butler really does need to keep your boiled eggs warm. But your soldiers would go cold. These two pairs were pressies, now I'm going to make myself some in a denser type of felt. They're from Scandinavian needlecraft by Clare Youngs. Sorry for the lack of posts, I've ventured back into the strange world of internet dating. No, you won't hear about it.

Meet Ginger

Here's Ginger, an impromptu gingerbread man. He came about because I ordered some felt from Blooming Felt. Now, this felt was for some birthday gifts, the nature of which cannot be revealed until next week. However, it was not the sort of felt I was expecting. I'm no expert but I knew I wanted proper wool felt. None of your cheapo polyester stuff. But what I got was a woven wool fabric with a slight tendency to fray, which isn't ideal for a project that requires felt and therefore has raw edges left unsewn. I made the gifts with it and am hoping they don't disintegrate on first use.

I then ordered some more felt from Myriad (which also has a large stock of lovely-looking but expensive wooden toys - daddy is going to be given the catalogue and told to get his saw out as he is quite handy with wood). Since I had already made the gifts, the purpose of this felt was unclear, but I wanted it all the same. I had to choose colours based on the tiniest of squares on their website. Hence this rather orangey shade of brown, which could really only become a gingerbread man.

Now, can anyone tell me the correct way to start off blanket stitch so you don't get a diagonal bit of thread at the back?!

Meet Mr Frog

He took less than an hour to make, which is a nice contrast to the fiendishly complicated cable pattern jumper I'm knitting for the little man and has been on the needles for months. Now that I'm looking at these photos on screen, they are also reminding me that I want to replace the covering on this kitchen stool. But first, I'm gearing up for front door painting. Today is sanding. Tomorrow, after daddy has picked up the boy, is painting time. I'm also feeling a strong urge to declutter my cupboards. Must be something in the air this spring. Other than pollen.

Stitches

This is the sort of thing I got up to last week whilst recovering from my hernia op. I started this sampler months ago and finally finished it off. And yes, I really did miss out a 'Y' and have to add it in at the end. And yes, I should have done it in the centre of the fabric so I had enough to wrap around a mount, but I'm too stingy so I'm going to botch it and have fabric left for some other designs.

Noah's ark is also coming along nicely. This is one for little man's room. I still have snakes, penguins and zebras to do, along with a bright, zig-zag border. 

The op itself seemed to go fine. Unfortunately, the wound then got infected a few days later and I've been on strong antibiotics which seem to finally be doing the trick. The surgeon's sewing skills seem a little hit and miss. It's all very neat at one end, but a bit raggedy looking at the other.

Quick bodges: Making a rainbow

As crafting achievements go, this one's pretty basic. I stole the idea from Jo Jingles. The handle is an embroidery hoop/frame thingie. The man at the market rooted out all the appropriate colours of ribbon for me while the boy ran off towards the fish stall to see the crabs. I snipped them (the ribbons, not the crabs) with pinking shears in the hope that the ends won't fray too much too soon. Then I wrapped them round the hoop, put a few little stitches in to secure and, hey presto, a rainbow shaker. Twenty minutes tops, not counting the trip to the market. It helps if you know someone with a drawer full of reels of cotton in all the required colours, someone, in this case, being my mum.

Now I just need to learn the song that starts: 'Take a little bit of red...' But not right now because I need to get spuds in the oven to roast alongside the chicken, a rare treat when there's only one big person and one small person in the house. Also, I need to help the boy brush up on his carrot chopping skills before he amputates a finger.

Bean bags and other gubbins

In a sudden flurry activity I got these beanbags finished. I started them ages ago and floundered at the stage where I decided to do a little running stitch round all the numbers. The tutorial is at Chez Beeper Bebe.

I have also finally made the dining room curtains to match the living room ones. (It's all one room but it makes it sound bigger to give them separate names...) So I have made it just in time to beat the first anniversary of moving in. And there was only one major cock-up, where I managed to cut one curtain about 20cm too short. This is the sort of thing that always happens when I get my sewing machine out. Anyway, better get on to my bedroom curtains soon, and something to replace the hideousness of the grubby nets in the meter cupboard.

I also have a cabled tank top half knitted and a cross-stitch alphabet sampler about two-thirds done. On my crafty would-like-to-do-list are: a cabled jumper for the boy, hat and gloves for the boy, tea cosy, pretty fabric bunting, wrist warmers for me, possibly a scarf and hat for me, a crocheted granny square blanket (this will probably take me until I am granny age), a mini quilt for the Ikea dolls'/teddy bed I've bought little man for Christmas (sorry to mention the C-word but everything I buy for him now is getting put away until then. By 'put away' I mean left in the boot of my car, which might be a problem when we go away next week), a wall hangy thing I started about two years ago which is a hotch potch of sewing and knitted bits and buttons and beads and stuff, some freezer paper stencilling (although by next summer little man will have grown out of the t-shirts I was going to try this out on), a mini ring sling for the boy to carry things in (probably cars) and a cross-stitch picture of Noah's ark for the boy (I'm hoping it will not yet lead to any deep theological questions; he likes boats and animals).

This list may be slightly over-ambitious. I'm off to do some knitting even though it's the sort of day where you have to put lights on to knit at 2pm. If only I had a cosy wood-burner to sit in front of. Unfortunately, any money I save at the moment is going into the replacement car fund.

Three nice things

1. Cross stitched hearts on linen. They may become an embellishment on some kind of little bag or picture made from my fabric stash, which is mostly old clothes.
2. Flowers in a salad, namely pansies and chive heads. Salad is good at the moment. Lettuce, radishes, beetroot, mangetout and courgettes are all provided from my dad's allotment. Herbs and flowers from the pots in my back yard.
3. The lighthouse on Ynys Llandwyn. The picture is not great as it was pissing down with rain and I got drenched. I wanted to take pictures of the pretty snails all over the island, but the camera was getting too wet. On the other hand, if it hadn't been raining, the snails wouldn't have all been out.

I love those blogs I read that often come with beautiful photography. The sort that inspires you to get off your backside and do something creative. My pictures are very much point and shoot I'm afraid.

I'm being dragged off to see the snails in the fish tank now. They're not supposed to be there, but I don't suppose they're doing any harm. So bye for now.

Practical matters

I realise now that taking pictures of curtains during daylight hours is probably not a fantastic idea. However, here they are. The living room curtains. And, below, a nice contrast with the old ones. And I'd appreciate it if no-one mentions the fact that the pattern is upside down.

You see, this is the sort of thing that happens when I so much as think of getting the sewing machine out. Things end up upside down. Or back to front. Or inside out. I also prick my fingers on pins and say ouch, which results in little man coming to rub it better. And I have sewn in three pins behind the header tape, which are going to have to stay there forever more. I really shouldn't be expected to do practical things like this - I am a pisces after all! I should daydream about beautiful curtains while someone else makes them. But I am still proud of the end result. I now have to do an identical pair for the other end of the room.

I'm waiting in for a delivery today. This means we couldn't go out for a walk or drive when little man started looking tired. But we've had a breakthrough. After lots of fidgeting, fetching of books, wailing for milk and general shenanigans, he has fallen asleep in my bed. It took a lot of perserverance from me in pretending to be asleep. And I did consider staying there and snoozing with him. But then I thought, no, I have curtains to make. And so I'm off to do some measuring.

Curtain call

I've finished my first ever pair of curtains. Blackout lined ones picturing lions, elephants, hippos and giraffes - all wearing party crowns - for little man's room. I'm very proud, even though they're a bit bodged in places. I had to rip out one seam when I realised I'd put the bottom hem at the top. The linings are only sewn in at the top rather than the proper way of having them sewn in all round. The finished product could do with being a couple of inches shorter. On the final line of sewing on the header tape of the second curtain the top thread started snapping for no apparent reason. I still don't know what most of the buttons and dials on my sewing machine do. But still, they look ok.

So next up are two matching pairs for the living room/dining room. And a panel to replace the horrible grubby nets that are covering the meters and fuse box in a glass-fronted cupboard. It's amazing how you stop noticing such hideous things after a while but they are really not attractive, even for people unafflicted with my extreme dislike of net curtains.

In other news, I've lost seven pounds. The diet is pretty basic: one piece of toast for breakfast, cup-a-soup for lunch, a couple of bits of fruit and a normal dinner. Oh, and a lot less wine. It doesn't even happen every day. I still go out for lunch sometimes. I still have the odd bacon butty or slice of cake. But it appears to be working and doesn't take much brainpower. Which is good, because I'm incapable of even planning to have bread in the house to make tomorrow morning's toast. According to my BMI I'm still obese, which is somewhat surprising and probably has a lot to do with my K cups.

Painting

I've been a bit of a coward when it comes to toddler art. Here's little man investigating some poster paints.

Stuff, Stuff and more Stuff

The Children's Society shop in Runcorn is about to find its stock increasing. A lot. I have so much Stuff, despite not being a person addicted to the acquisition of Stuff.

This morning, in the couple of hours between going out for morning coffee (it's a figure of speech; I only drink tea) and going to work after lunch I had a sort-out in little man's room and my wardrobe.

I ditched the clothes that are too small for little man (and the clothes that are too small for me). I ditched toys, I ditched books, I ditched bedding. I ditched those boots that are about ten years out of fashion with heels that are about two inches too high (I find that babywearing and heels don't mix). But I kept the heeled shoes that I actually used to find really comfy for work and which may come in handy if I am ever required to look vaguely smart again. I wear jeans to work now, so yes, you may feel jealous. Though if you are a SAHM, I am jealous of you.

I ditched some old jumpers and then, in work this afternoon, rediscovered the blog post with this excellent pixie hat. I wonder now if little man is too old for it; being a boy the bonnet look might not work on him any more? But I have kept the too-small t-shirt that has a monkey design on the front which I'm going to cut out and applique on a new top.

My dad, meanwhile, managed yesterday to transport three compost bins full of lovely, rotting, nutritious-for-the-garden Stuff to his allotment, and, today, to sort out all the empty pots littering my garden. Little man helped him and got thoroughly dirty and damp. My mum has been shredder-in-chief. And has taken the rug home to wash which little man pooed on last night. Yay, one less shitty job for me!

Artless child

It is little man's daddy's birthday on Wednesday. I have been trying to get little man to do some artwork to make into a card. With little success.

This is the result from the finger paints, and only after I dragged his hand around to make the prints. I tried chalk, but he decided to walk off into the garden with it. I tried crayons but he tried to eat them and showed much more interest in taking them out of the box then putting them back in the box. He's really not yet into art. He doesn't like to sit still for that long and I don't think it has occurred to him that he can create an image of something familiar on paper.

I think I'll have another try before bathtime with the paints when the mess will be easy to clean up. He is now trying to bash the keyboard. It's a shame I can't make an artwork out of his bashing, although I have just discovered babysmash thanks to FLP. Lets little one bang on the keyboard without breaking the computer.

Warning: whinge coming up

I have a sore throat, mouth ulcers and face ache. My DVD player finally died after being abused by little man, who liked pressing the open/close button. Little man himself only fell asleep at 9.3opm due to teething, heatwave and general midsummer madness. It is hot and I don't expect to sleep very well. I am not enjoying this ruby cabernet, it's too heavy and it's not helping my throat. I just googled glandular fever but I don't think I have it so I don't have an excuse to get lots of sympathy and afternoon naps. There have been kids shrieking at the tops of their voices all evening right outside my house. Because of little man's late night I haven't done any tidying up, even though had I known how late it would be I would have just left him to play and got on with things.

So I'm now going to think up some good stuff that happened today:
1. I got little man back from his daddy.
2. I made little man's botched homemade trousers into cropped trousers, thus hiding some of the cock-up and making him look well cool.
3. I spread the word about babywearing at a post-natal group.
4. Little man and I had our tea/dinner (delete as you like but at 5pm I don't think I can call it dinner) sitting outside on the patio.
5. I got invited to go camping in North Wales.
6. Little man and I got the giggles over the Stroke Henry book.
7. I inspected my salad seedlings and they're coming along nicely; I watered them with little man on my hip about an hour and a half after he should have been asleep.
8. I got three eggs.

Happy hooker

After months of trying to teach myself from books and YouTube I have actually been on a workshop. I can now crochet. Well, at least if I keep practising to make sure I don't forget everything. So bags, hats, scarves, ponchos, toys and assorted crocheted foodstuffs here I come http://www.orble.com/free-giant-chocolate-truffle-crochet-pattern/.

I think I might also crochet myself a new man (that perfect one), a new size 10 body, a cottage by the sea without a mortgage on it, a productive vegetable patch and the world's biggest pumpkin. And another bottle of wine for tonight.

Also note the chair in the picture, assembled by my own fair hand from the Ikea flatpack. I haven't got round to the table yet. And little man has already fallen off the chair. I put it with its back to the settee so he couldn't stand on it and push it over backwards. So he sat on it backwards, pushed his feet against the settee and pushed it over the other way. Ho hum.

Exciting phone call of the day: My slings are in at www.mama-licious.co.uk. Annoying thing of the day: they haven't emailed the details of how I can pay them by Paypal so they won't be posting them out first thing Monday.