Surprises

• A squirrel nonchalantly skipping along the grass verge between my house and the busway.
• A grey wagtail wagging its tail on the pavement. It was bright yellow, but I am assured it was a grey wagtail and not a yellow wagtail.
• The extreme grubbiness we have had to clean off all surfaces in my new house.
• The sight of the house vendor, having returned to collect some junk from the back yard, digging a hole in the verge between the house and the busway to bury her compost materials.
• The arrival of my period only 31 days after the last one. I mean, that's normal. It's usually at least 42 days.
• Just how many cookbooks I own. Just when I thought I had unpacked them all, there was yet another box.
• How well I slept on my first night in my new house.
• How gullible people are who buy things because they saw an advert on the telly (I've just seen one for a men's fragrance [read perfume] called hot water. I mean, come on, I could sell hot water.)
• How much nicer my bathroom looks without me having had to repaint the blue ceiling or take off any of the stark white, yellow and blue tiles thanks to some nicer flooring and shower curtains and a new loo seat.
• How much I'm looking forward to a day of chilling at home (my new home) with little man when I collect him from daddy's tomorrow.
• That STBE husband and I have come to an arrangement for Christmas that involves me cooking Christmas dinner for the first time ever for the three of us.

Quick update

Not so much of the woe is me any more. My grandmother's friend's son's partner had a van. My grandmother's friend's husband drove it. My grandmother paid for it. All my belongings are now in my house. The nice cable people also sorted out my broadband connection and I bought a new phone, but am still in possession of a dud one. My fridge freezer is arriving on Sunday. I have bought some new wheel nuts, although not put them on yet as I have no idea how to. Little man's cyst is looking much better although he still joined me for a cuddle at some unearthly hour last night. So what does that leave outstanding? Well, I guess the main thing would be that conversation his father and I need to have about Christmas that I thought we would be having tonight but he has called off. Yes it is this Christmas we need to talk about, 2009, the one in two weeks' time.

Do not read this

It's pure rant. Stuff I need to send out into cyberspace to stop it going round and round my head.

I moved out of my last home on October 17. I thought little man and I would be at my parents for a couple of weeks. I finally completed on my new home on November 24. I still haven't moved in. I could really do with my own space now. And more than two pairs of shoes. But a friend who has access to a van can't get it this Thursday, as expected, and it looks like it might be next Thursday instead.

I have been decorating, in between trying to spend that thing that some working parents call 'quality time' with little man. I have had heating installed and some new floorings laid. I have had cable connected for my phone, broadband and telly. Unfortunately, the broadband won't set up. A phone I bought online isn't working. Because I have cancelled my old email provider I can't remember where I bought the phone from so can't return it. But I also can't use the free number to phone the cable people to find out why my broadband won't work. And when I tried on my mobile today I was on hold for so long I gave up. I also don't know when my new fridge-freezer will be delivered because notification will be sent to my defunct email address.

My application for insurance cover for the mortgage is currently on hold. My doctor wrote a report to say there was an outstanding issue with a dermatology referral. This is because I showed her a freckle on my foot that had gone all red. She gave me a referral. Of course, the redness went, all was well and I cancelled the appointment rather than waste hospital time. I now have to write a letter to explain this. And I have now changed doctor because I've moved house and am already paying that mortgage.

I got some sealant put in the back tyres of my car last week to stop them losing air. Unfortunately, the garage had to break the locking wheelnuts because I had no idea where the relevant tool might be. So now I have to find some new nuts. The car is also leaking coolant. Although my moving house won't result in any more miles travelled overall, as those looking after little man don't have to go far any more, it does mean my commute has turned into fifty miles each way. That's not as gruelling as it sounds: I don't travel at rush hour and it is motorway virtually all the way. But I do need my car.

STBE husband is avoiding talking to me about Christmas. Instead he texted me to say when he would like to have little man. I texted him back to say I would like to talk about it in person. He texted back in a manner that suggested I was being unreasonable in not simply agreeing. I texted him back a five-part message to point out all the considerations that need to be taken into account: such as little man and I getting settled in our new house, my not having spent as much time with him as I would like because of the decorating, the fact I would also like to see STBEH's family members who are visiting, the fact my shift pattern is unusual over Christmas.... He has still not come up with a time when he is available to talk.

Little man has an infected branchial cyst. It's one of two holes in his neck that won't ever go away. It's only a problem if it keeps getting infected. At the moment it's red, swollen and oozing green gunk and he is on to his second course of antibiotics. He's fine in himself, although he is waking up randomly some nights. I'm not surprised at that as he's a sensitive soul and mummy is rather stressed.

And then there's all the things I haven't been doing which I'd like to be doing: walking, knitting, cooking, planting herbs, talking to the chickens, seeing friends.

I could cope with a few of these things, but all together it's really a bit much. I keep forgetting to take my antidepressants, which probably isn't very helpful. And I think there are only so many bottles of wine and takeaways a person can consume in the name of temporary stress relief. Particularly when 'temporary' is redefining itself.

I'm up a ladder...

...which is why I haven't been blogging. Too busy painting. Mmm, Ecos in bengt from the Swedish range. Farrow & Ball lime white. Oh no, I've fallen into giving companies blatant plugs, something I try to avoid unless I feel really strongly in favour of their products. I must admit to also using some bog standard, probably not particularly environmentally friendly, paints too. But as the nice ones are 50 quid a pop I have had to weigh up financial priorities. And I decided bedroom carpet was a good thing to have: 100% wool with jute backing. So there.

By this time next week little man and I might even have moved in. And he can do some serious bus watching from my bedroom window, which is conveniently low enough for him to see out of without having to stand on the windowledge. Which wouldn't be encouraged because it's newly painted. In Homebase chalk white eggshell.

I think there may be one loyal reader who finds the title of this post funny. It's all about loud phone calls in open-plan newspaper offices. 'Can you talk or are you up a ladder?'

Mysteries

Why have I had a cold since September?
Why is gingerbread dough tastier than the finished gingerbread men?
What is little man trying to tell me when he babbles away so earnestly?
Why is 'bang' his favourite word?
Why are my chickens still not laying any eggs after they finished moulting weeks ago?
Why am I physically incapable of being tidy?
Why do holes appear when I try to knit in the round in stripes?
Why can't toddlers sit in the car without pulling their socks off?
Why can my son remember that nasturtium flowers are edible but he can't remember that running like a loon with your eyes shut means you fall over and bang your head for the twentieth time in one day?
Why are big red buttons so irresistible?
Why did little man think that because grandma had a pretty necklace on, mummy might like a Pudsey bear sticker on her neck?
Why has he stopped eating his tea, whatever it is?
Why does my rear offside tyre keep deflating?
Why is it that every time I try to do something from my to-do list I end up adding more to it?
How can there be so many different shades of white paint?
Why are my new boots falling apart six days after I bought them?
Should I have a glass of cider and another gingerbread man?

The world's your lobster

So, les parents have had a friend round for dinner. Cue lots of tales of drinking around the campfire circa 1969. Let me explain: My dad emigrated to Australia when he was 19. He came back when his father died suddenly in an accident at an ICI plant not long after. While he was back here he met my mum; they got married and went off to Adelaide. From the tales it would seem they drank lots and mucked around lots. They eventually had my brother and decided to come back to Britain where his grandmas, grandad, aunties and uncles were. My brother was obviously sick all the way home on the boat, which serves them right for bringing him back to a damp, pestilence-ridden country.

They are off back to Oz next year for a three-month camping-in-the-desert, driving-along-dirt-roads kind of trip with their Aussie friends who know how to do this sort of thing. The kind of friends they used to get pissed with and row out into harbours with in stolen boats in the wee small hours and generally get up to mischief with.

Me? I get my hands on my new house in Runcorn in six days. I'm sure there's some Chinese saying about how it's not how far you travel... and how those who stay at home can end up as far away as those who get on a long-haul flight... but google is not coming up trumps so I'll leave you with this from the Tao Te Ching: “In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present.” And: "Without taking a step outdoors, you know the whole world."

When I have settled into my new house I will dig out my own copy of the tao te ching and treat you to some more quotations. Bet you can't wait.

Preheat your ovens now...

I was going to give you a picture. But I didn't get round to it when they were fresh yesterday and now there are hardly any left. I'm referring to the gooey chocolate and ginger brownie thingies I made from Earthenwitch's recipe. Anyway, believe me, they were gorgeous. Worth nearly blowing up my parents' microwave in a mysterious butter and chocolate-melting incident. I don't have one of those hand-helder blender things meant for soup so I finely grated the ginger instead. And I can confirm it took 40 minutes in a standard gas oven on mark 5.

I also made a lovely sticky tea bread the other day from my new Frugal Food book by Delia Smith. Here's how:

Stick this lot in a pan and bring it to the boil: 150ml water, 150g caster sugar, 110g sultanas, 110g butter and 1 tsp bicarb of soda. Boil for 10 mins but don't leave it or it'll boil over. Take it off the heat and let it cool for as long as your patience lasts. Add 1 large, beaten, egg, 175g sifted plain flour and 1 tsp baking powder sifted in with the flour. Mix. Bung it in a greased and floured 1lb (I know, 450g, I'm mixing my measurements up but loaf tins are designed in lbs!) loaf tin and stick it in a gas mark 4 oven for an hour and a half. When it's cool enough, cut a generous slice and enjoy. It's very portable too for packed lunches/eating at your desk.

I realise I'm not blogging much at the moment. Most of the time I'm just feeling sorry for myself and don't have much to say that wouldn't be a bit gloomy.